Diary of an American

the warnings were there

icy runways and signs on bridges

warning ice forms faster here

but you would not listen

and as i slept i dreamed in symbols

you there relinquishing

ice forming on wingtips

spinning

the guardrail careening quickly

your downfall

the succubus she

there

waiting, watching you

laughing

then looking away clutching

the heart of another, fawning

her back to you now uncaring

She is vacant when she is consoling

trading invisibilities like clothing

and breaking men like dolls

right now her eyes are closed while

she fumbles in the dark fumbling beside her infidelities

while your hands fumble for forks in the suds.

Ice falls like rain from the sky clicking on the frozen ground

that immobilizes hearts like dead things

you there

cockpit smashed

trapped

unwilling to acknowledge

denial is your best friend

even the scene of the accident

you cloak in perfection

you do not even see your own blood as it

trickles slowly down 

subjection is your succubus

She points at you and makes you shiver with delight

and you serve her while she licks her

lips at the thought of your turgid lifelessness

sucking your life into her deadness

it is a heady thing deception

the cloak of darkness that is a relief

from veracity

loosed outside

you are chained

and darkness falls

like fingers squeezing chicken necks

clocks ticking you discover

the only thing of you that survives

is what you choose to hide

in basements full of secret books

and languages as foreign as your life

your engines have fallen into the sea

and crows circle your nubilous vision

your freedom trapped in a clear bottle

the anesthetic that lets you

lapse into nostalgia until

you forget the succubus

in the tree of life

red lips curving sinuous smile tongue flicking

you the willing victim

till death do you part

you fly only

in broken dreams

©diane o’leary 2006